85 funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

We’ve all been there – we say something without thinking it through, and before we know it, the damage is done. That’s why sometimes keeping your mouth shut can be the wisest move you make. Not only does it prevent foot-in-mouth situations, but it can also lead to better relationships and fewer regrets.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the importance of keeping your mouth shut, its benefits and consequences, share some tips on how to do so when angry or frustrated – in addition to entertaining you with a collection of funny quotes about shutting up! So sit back and enjoy as we dive into this important topic that will help us navigate our personal and professional lives with ease!

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

1. “I tried keeping my mouth shut once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

2. “If I had a dollar for every time I kept my mouth shut when I shouldn’t have, I’d be a billionaire.”

3. “I’ve mastered the art of keeping my mouth shut. Unfortunately, my face hasn’t gotten the memo.”

4. “I have a black belt in keeping my mouth shut. It’s called duct tape.”

5. “Keeping your mouth shut is hard. Keeping your face from giving it away is even harder.”

6. “The key to a peaceful life is knowing when to keep your mouth shut and your snack drawer open.”

7. “Keeping your mouth shut is an underrated superpower. I’m just waiting for my cape.”

8. “Sometimes, it’s not about having the last word. It’s about having the self-control to keep your mouth shut.”

9. “My mouth has a mind of its own, but my brain has a restraining order.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

10. “I used to think silence is golden. Now I know it’s just suspicious.”

11. “When in doubt, shut your mouth. It’s a life-saving skill.”

12. “Keeping my mouth shut is my cardio. I’m in great shape!”

13. “I’m fluent in three languages: English, sarcasm, and keeping my mouth shut.”

14. “The best way to avoid foot-in-mouth syndrome is by keeping your mouth shut and wearing closed-toe shoes.”

15. “If keeping your mouth shut was an Olympic sport, I’d have a gold medal.”

16. “Silence is not always golden, especially when you have a hilarious comeback ready.”

17. “The only thing sharper than my wit is my ability to keep my mouth shut.”

18. “In a world full of noise, being able to keep your mouth shut is a superpower.”

19. “They say actions speak louder than words, but sometimes, keeping your mouth shut speaks volumes.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

20. “I’m not saying I’m a superhero, but I can make an entire room awkward by keeping my mouth shut.”

21. “Behind every successful person is someone who knows when to keep their mouth shut.”

22. “Keeping my mouth shut is like a full-time job. Can I put it on my resume?”

23. “I don’t always keep my mouth shut, but when I do, it’s pure torture.”

24. “The most powerful weapon in the world is the ability to keep your mouth shut…and a good sense of humor.”

25. “Keeping your mouth shut is a skill, but knowing when to open it and say something hilarious is an art.”

26. “If silence is golden, consider me the king of keeping my mouth shut.”

27. “I don’t believe in zodiac signs, but I’m definitely a master of the art of keeping my mouth shut.”

28. “I’m not antisocial; I’m just fluent in keeping my mouth shut.”

29. “The secret to happiness? Keeping your mouth shut and eating cookies.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

30. “I don’t always keep my mouth shut, but when I do, it’s usually because I’m eating.”

31. “I’m a strong believer in the power of keeping your mouth shut and letting your eyes roll.”

32. “The best way to avoid saying something stupid is by keeping your mouth shut and nodding.”

33. “I’ve learned that silence can be golden, especially when you’re about to say something hilarious.”

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34. “I have a condition called ‘mouth control’ where I can keep my mouth shut even when something hilarious pops into my head.”

35. “Life is short. Keep your mouth shut and enjoy the show.”

36. “They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but sometimes, keeping your mouth shut is mightier than both.”

37. “I don’t have a filter; I have a mute button for my mouth.”

38. “Keeping my mouth shut is my secret weapon. It’s also why my dentist loves me.”

39. “Silence is golden, unless you’re me. Then silence is suspicious and needs immediate investigation.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

40. “I don’t always keep my mouth shut, but when I do, it’s because I’m eating cake.”

41. “The world would be a better place if everyone mastered the art of keeping their mouth shut…and shared their snacks.”

42. “Keeping your mouth shut is like having a secret treasure chest of unsaid hilarious things.”

43. “I don’t have a problem with talking; my problem is finding someone who can handle my silence.”

44. “The best way to avoid arguments is by keeping your mouth shut and playing dead.”

45. “If keeping your mouth shut were a sport, I’d be a gold medalist…and the reigning champion.”

46. “They say laughter is the best medicine, but sometimes, keeping your mouth shut is the best remedy for stupidity.”

47. “I don’t need to speak to express myself. My eyebrows are fluent in sarcasm.”

48. “I’m a master of keeping my mouth shut. It’s the only thing I’m good at.”

49. “If keeping your mouth shut burns calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

50. “Silence is golden, unless you’re me. Then silence is just another opportunity for awkwardness.”

51. “If I kept my mouth shut any longer, I’d probably start speaking in Morse code.”

52. “Keeping my mouth shut is my superpower. I’m like a silent ninja.”

53. “My dentist loves me because I excel at keeping my mouth shut… literally.”

54. “I should win an award for Olympic-level mouth-shutting. It’s a true talent.”

55. “I’ve mastered the art of keeping my mouth shut. It’s like a silent symphony.”

56. “I’m a living paradox: a chatterbox who’s also really good at keeping my mouth shut.”

57. “The best way to avoid foot-in-mouth syndrome is by keeping my mouth shut altogether.”

58. “I’m the unsung hero of the silent movie era, always keeping my mouth shut like a pro.”

59. “If silence is golden, then I’m swimming in a sea of riches with my mouth shut.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

60. “Keeping my mouth shut is like a mental yoga exercise. It keeps me flexible and quiet.”

61. “I’ve reached the expert level in keeping my mouth shut. It’s my claim to fame.”

62. “I’ve become a master at keeping secrets… and by secrets, I mean not saying a word.”

63. “Keeping my mouth shut should be an Olympic sport. I’d take home the gold every time.”

64. “I’m like a vault. Keeping my mouth shut is my way of protecting valuable information: nonsense.”

65. “I excel at the ancient art of lip-zipping. It’s a skill that comes in handy in so many situations.”

66. “I’m the human embodiment of a mute button. Silence is my default mode.”

67. “They say silence is golden. In that case, I’m a walking treasure chest.”

68. “I should be a statue in a museum, frozen in the act of keeping my mouth shut.”

69. “Keeping my mouth shut has become my secret weapon against awkward conversations.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

70. “I’ve discovered the secret to a drama-free life: keeping my mouth shut and eating popcorn.”

71. “I’ve been practicing keeping my mouth shut for so long that my jaw muscles are now superhuman.”

72. “If talking is silver, then keeping my mouth shut is platinum.”

73. “I’m so good at keeping my mouth shut that even Siri asks me for advice on being silent.”

74. “I’m the silent guardian of peace and quiet, always keeping my mouth shut for the greater good.”

75. “They say actions speak louder than words, but in my case, non-actions speak the loudest.”

76. “I’ve taken a vow of silence… Oops, I guess I just broke it with that statement.”

77. “I’ve reached a Zen-like state of tranquility by keeping my mouth shut and my thoughts in check.”

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78. “They say silence is the best response to ignorance. Well, I’m a walking encyclopedia of silence.”

79. “Keeping my mouth shut is my secret weapon against verbal landmines. Safety first!”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

80. “I’m so good at keeping my mouth shut that people mistake me for a mime artist.”

81. “Keeping my mouth shut is like having a superpower. I’m a member of the League of Silence.”

82. “They should make a reality TV show about me: ‘The Mute and the Restless.'”

83. “If silence is a virtue, then I must be a saint with my mouth shut.”

funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

84. “I’m an advocate for the power of silence. But don’t ask me to speak up about it.”

85. “I’ve mastered the art of speaking volumes by not saying a word.”

The importance of keeping your mouth shut

We’ve all been in situations where we wish we had kept our mouths shut. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and damaged relationships. That’s why it’s essential to understand the importance of keeping your mouth shut.

Keeping quiet shows that you’re a good listener. People appreciate someone who listens without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. By listening more and speaking less, you’ll build stronger relationships with those around you.

Remaining silent allows for introspection and self-reflection. Instead of reacting impulsively, taking a moment to think before speaking can lead to better communication outcomes and prevent potential conflicts.

Keeping your thoughts to yourself also prevents unnecessary drama from occurring. Not every situation requires a response or opinion – sometimes silence is golden.

The benefits of keeping your mouth shut

Keeping your mouth shut may seem like a difficult task, but it has numerous benefits that can improve various aspects of your life. Firstly, keeping quiet allows you to be a better listener. When you actively listen to others without interrupting or interjecting with your opinions, they feel valued and respected.

Another benefit is avoiding unnecessary conflicts and arguments. Many misunderstandings arise from miscommunication and speaking before thinking. By staying silent in certain situations, you prevent yourself from saying things that might escalate the situation.

Furthermore, remaining tight-lipped can help protect yourself from negative consequences such as being misunderstood or taken out of context. Sometimes it’s best to keep our thoughts to ourselves rather than risk damaging relationships or reputations.

In addition, not speaking impulsively can allow us time for introspection and reflection on our own thoughts and feelings before expressing them outwardly. This self-awareness helps us become more mindful individuals who are capable of making well-informed decisions.

The consequences of not keeping your mouth shut

We all have experienced moments where we let our emotions take over and say things without thinking. It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, but sometimes it can lead to serious consequences.

One of the most immediate consequences is damaging relationships. When you speak impulsively, you risk saying something hurtful that can’t be unsaid. This could turn a minor disagreement into a major rift that may never heal.

Not keeping your mouth shut can also lead to professional repercussions. In some cases, speaking out of turn or sharing confidential information could result in losing your job or damaging your reputation.

Furthermore, not keeping quiet on social media can lead to public humiliation and backlash from others online. It’s important to remember that once something is posted online, it’s there forever and cannot be taken back.

Failing to keep your mouth shut during heated arguments with loved ones can often create long-term problems such as resentment and bitterness towards each other.

How to keep your mouth shut

Keeping your mouth shut might seem like an easy task, but it can be quite challenging at times. In order to master the art of keeping quiet, you need to practice self-control and discipline.

Firstly, before speaking out loud, take a deep breath and think about what you are going to say. Ask yourself if it is necessary or relevant. If not, then keep your mouth shut.

Secondly, distract yourself from the conversation by focusing on something else around you or counting backwards in your head. This will help you avoid saying things that could cause trouble.

Thirdly, learn how to listen more than you talk. Pay attention to what others are saying and try not to interrupt them with your own thoughts or opinions.

Use non-verbal cues such as nodding or shaking your head instead of verbally responding when possible. This will show that you’re paying attention without having to add anything unnecessary.

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Funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut

Keeping your mouth shut can be difficult, but sometimes it’s necessary. And what better way to make light of the situation than with some funny quotes? Here are a few famous Funny quotes about keeping your mouth shut:

– “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown
– “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.” – Dolly Parton
– “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
– “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” – Mark Twain
– “I talk too much because I have been made so miserable by what you are keeping hushed.” – Franz Kafka

These quotes remind us that sometimes silence truly is golden. Whether we’re trying to avoid an argument or simply avoiding putting our foot in our mouths, there’s wisdom in knowing when not to speak up.

10 famous quotes about keeping your mouth shut

Keeping your mouth shut is an art that takes practice and patience. It’s not always easy to hold back our thoughts, but sometimes it’s essential to avoid unnecessary conflicts or embarrassing moments. Here are ten famous quotes about keeping your mouth shut that will inspire you to think before you speak.

1) “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
2) “The more you say, the less people remember. The fewer the words, the greater the profit.” – Francois Fenelon
3) “Silence is golden when you can’t think of a good answer.”- Muhammad Ali
4) “If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.” – Mark Twain
5) “One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears – by listening to them” – Dean Rusk
6) “Sometimes it’s better not to react.” – Anonymous
7) “The wise understand the power of silence; they cultivate it reflexively in their lives” – Elizabeth Gilbert
8) “Be careful with your words. Once said they can only be forgiven, not forgotten”-Unknown.
9)”Silence isn’t empty—it’s full of answers.”— Unknown
10)”I’ve begun reminding myself that whenever I’m faced with a difficult decision or frustrating situation: ‘It’s none of my business.’”— Ryan Holiday

These quotes offer insight into how powerful silence can be in various situations from conversations with friends, family members or colleagues at work. It reminds us that sometimes saying nothing is actually saying everything we need without causing any harm or offense unintentionally.

How to keep your mouth shut when you’re angry

When we’re angry, it’s easy to say things that we don’t mean or regret later. However, keeping our mouths shut in these moments can be challenging. Here are some tips on how to keep your mouth shut when you’re angry:

1. Take a deep breath: Before saying anything, take a moment to breathe deeply and calm down.

2. Count to 10: This classic technique gives you time to collect your thoughts and avoid blurting out something impulsively.

3. Walk away: If possible, remove yourself from the situation entirely until you’ve cooled off enough to engage in productive communication.

4. Write it down: Instead of letting your anger spill over into words spoken aloud, try writing down everything you want to say before discussing the issue with the other person.

5. Practice active listening: When having difficult conversations about topics that make us angry, actively listen instead of interrupting or speaking over others.

Conclusion

In summary, keeping your mouth shut is an art that takes practice and patience. The benefits of choosing to keep quiet far outweigh the risks of speaking out impulsively without thinking things through. In fact, it could save you from a lot of trouble in the long run.

Also Read: 80 Sarcastic Quotes About Being Ignored

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